new year’s evisceration

For the first time, I actually followed through with a resolution.  I wanted to lose weight.  I did.  I didn’t lose as much as I wanted but that’s no matter because I still did it and consistently worked on it all year.  I have not conquered my weight and I suspect I never will but I do feel I have a better grasp on it than I used to so I consider that a victory.

But I’m not done.  I still want to lose more.

And I want to do more.

For 2013, I want to become more financially responsible.  I’m old now and I literally cannot afford to be so careless with my spending.

I want to finish my book (and get published if possible).  I’m so close already.  I’ve finished writing it and I’ve done a first edit.  I need to finish my second edit, write up all the changes, get some “test” readers, take their opinions into consideration, then publish that baby so I can start seeing the ones of tens of dollars roll in.

I’d like to re-discover my passion for drawing.

I want to find God again.  This one is a bit ambitious since a lot of people spend their whole lives trying to find God.  Not sure I can do that in a span of one year.  Maybe I just mean I want to find peace with how I feel about God.  Confession time: I don’t think I’m a Christian anymore.  It’s not that I don’t want to be but I don’t think it’s fair to the true Jesus followers to call myself one because I would set a bad example to others.  But hopefully I can either come around (still waiting for God to come around) or I will just remain agnostic or maybe I’ll go in a completely different direction and become a Buddhist.

I want to accept myself for who I am and who I will never be.

I tried the whole “alive” thing earlier this year and having a pulse hurt worse than withering.  I’ve retired the resurrection and have returned to rotting.  Sorry to disappoint.  I’ve made peace with it, though.  I don’t have time to worry about a beating heart when I’ve got bills to pay.  I’ll get all that sorted out later when I can concentrate on it.  For now, I’ll just continue to coast as a corpse.

Cheers to the new year.

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