All I’ve ever wanted was a warm mouth on a cool night, us wrapped together in fleece and flannel, to feel the unfurling gusts of wind whipping up whisps of hair across our faces. The smell of your lips turn sweet smiles into delectable dishes. Your hand rests on my chest, softening the hurried heartbeat, calming the catastrophe of current events.
I always stepped into the day, downtrodden among the atrocities, reaching out in hopes of one day finding your fingers ready to soothe the ache of destruction. I faced each empty slot of time, relenting to the entropy until you stepped in, ready to remedy the rust that had settled into my bones.
Outside, you lead me to the ground and embrace me as the night falls down around us, splitting at the seams and seeping out a serenade for you and me alone. All the bugs and blades of grass bend toward you to bask in your glow. But your focus stays on me, this fumbling failure fortunate enough to fall into your line of sight. Those eyes pierce through all the pain inside, rejuvenating the well-worn will, springing me up with newfound spirit, safe enough to scream, to laugh, to share these blankets with you. The crickets sing, the air dances, and the light grows dimmer, hazy shades of green and black, plaid and pristine wrists, blue branches leading to your chest and lips and eyes. Your delicate cheek on mine shines against the light of the moon, penetrating through the dark clouds that carry a rain that runs past us.
The hashtags and headlines herald in the horrors of north and south, slicing through my serenity. But with your breath beside me, I find a semblance of stillness. The calm of your caress, the bliss of your heartbeat lets me know I am safe from the world and from myself.
My head winds down, drained of dismay and fueled with a thousand fantasies swirling like so many leaves in the wind. A warm drink and skin and smile. Lips pressing into the flesh of forever. A lifetime encapsulated into a late night with you, my heart a steady drum, my blood a slow stream. Fluid dreams and concrete connections. Pulling me out of a ribcage coma and shielding me from the sun’s rays, random bursts of violence, and the gravitational pull of disappointment. It’s the clarity of breath, the breadth of belonging, a kiss so pure it hurts as much as it heals.
Let us not linger in the brightness that breaks through the webs of bark and illuminates the trauma of the world. Kiss me until the light leaks out once more, covered in the safety of this dark. Run with me through the black fields before resting again in the shadows. I listen as your heart slows. You wrap your arms around me and I am wiped clean, a blank slate without shame. You invite me to draw closer. I sink into you, close my eyes, and wish for the sun to burn out and bleed black so the stars can burn bright forever.